So here it is, almost time to update my status to Mom of a little human who I actually and Finaly can hold in my arms.
Does it makes me scared? Yes it does, because I am totally responsible for the well being of this amazing child.
Does it makes me insecure? Yes it does, because I never had a perfect example in my biologic mother. It makes me insecure that she gave up on me even when I know that I’m not that kind of person who give up.
Does it makes me question myself? Yes it does, because I want all of the best for you and all I can give I Will but Will it be enough?
Does it makes me thinking back of my own start? Yes it does a lot, because I will give you the start I never had, but how do I do that? How can I give you that thing to the fullest when I never got it from my own mom?
Does it makes me protective? Oh yes it does, because I will let you enjoy the best of this world and protect you from the bad side of this world. I Will protect you for everything that I’ve been through and I Will go through it all over again so you don’t have to.
It makes me so happy that in a couple of weeks I can hold you in my arms, but it also scares me that after 23 years I Will have someone around me who Will look like me. It scares me that after all these years of being the only person I can relate to was myself and now it will be you. You will turn my life up side down just for being you!
You will be the most precious gifts I ever can receive from Him above. And because Only He knows my biggest wish and He fully trust me with your life I can believe in myself with al my feelings full of insecurities.
So yes I May be a little insecure about the whole mother thing but I know I can do it because I will do everything for you my little one💛